4 Success Qualities To Instill In Your Child

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. I believe that there are Four Qualities that lead to a successful life for your child - Positive Attitude, Confidence, Determination, and Toughness or Resilience.

A child with a POSITIVE ATTITUDE will wake up each morning optimistic that there will be more positive than not so positive things happening that day.  A Positive Attitude means everything in terms of responding to all life situations.  Charles Swindol said, “Life is 10% what happens and 90% how we respond” and a healthy response is based upon a Positive Attitude.

A child needs CONFIDENCE in their God-given talents and gifts.  A child with solid confidence will give a good, consistent effort every day with their God-given abilities because they believe in themselves.

A child benefits from a DETERMINED spirit to never give up!!!  The great Winston Churchill said his philosophy of life was to “Never, Never, Never Give Up!!!” Determination provides the internal motivation to always be a finisher in achieving goals and dreams.

Finally, a child with TOUGHNESS or resilience will always bounce back from setbacks.  Life has ups but there will also be downs and a child must learn to be tough and resilient after being knocked down.  Hence, a child actually benefits from experiencing bumps and bruises in order to develop toughness.

For a child:  Example is not the best teacher, EXAMPLE IS THE ONLY TEACHER!  So ESSENTIAL ATTITUDES ARE CAUGHT from a parent more than taught by a parent!

Next Wednesday, October 3, I will blog post the 4 Christian Qualities To Instill In Your Child.

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Time Means Everything!

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. A wonderful synonym for LOVE IS TIME!  You can determine what you love in life by how you spend your time.  Are we spending most of our time on hobbies, television, work, video games, projects, technology, etc.?

Great marriages, happy families, and responsible children are the result of planned time together in so many ways.  Leisure time, mealtimes, laughing time, working time, one-on-one time, prayer time, enrichment time, faith time, life-long education time, relaxing time are all essential for a satisfying life and rewarding relationships.

We absolutely cannot let our lives and our time happen by chance!  Consciously planning and scheduling our personal time and relationship time makes the critical difference!

TODAY:  Plan your personal and relationship time to have a meaningful life and close connections with spouse, children, family, and friends!

 #marriagehelp #parenthelp #marriagetip

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Improve 1% Per Week

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Literally, every major accomplishment happens “one” at a time.  No individual or relationship ever got better all at once.  Improvement happens one day at a time, one compliment at a time, one minute of exercise at a time, one hug at a time, one phone call at a time, one action at a time, one kiss at a time, etc.

Most of us want immediate success in all areas of life but, of course, that is not realistic.  In counseling, I often suggest to individuals, couples, parents, and families, that a reasonable goal is one percent improvement per week or four percent per month.  Certainly, one percent per week doesn’t sound like much but at the end of a year that is 50% improvement as a person, spouse, parent, friend, etc.

TODAY:  Take “one” action that can begin the process of improving yourself as a Christian person.  In addition, take “one” action or say “one” sentence that will improve a relationship, whether a friendship, marriage, parent-child connection, co-worker association, etc.

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YOUTUBE VIDEOS:  My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”  I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.

Are You Having Fun With Your Spouse or Child?

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. My definition of fun is doing an enjoyable activity together with your spouse or child.  Fun is not doing a responsibility with your spouse or child.  Certainly, family fun times are also very important but there needs to be a balance with one-on-one time and that is usually what is absent in too many family relationships.

Whether husband-wife or parent-child, satisfying, rewarding relationships have a lot of one-on-one fun times!  You often bond the most when the enjoyable activity is without others around.  Having just one-on-one fun with your spouse or child creates happiness for both of you and strengthens your emotional connection.

TODAY:  Please ask your spouse or child what meaningful activity would be fun to do both inside the home and outside the home. 

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Touch Is Foundational For Our Well-being

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Babies denied skin-to-skin stimulation usually struggle with physical, mental, and emotional developmental issues.  Neglected babies often “fail to thrive” due to touch deprivation.  The good news is that through emotional support and physical touch on a daily basis, the negatives for those babies can be reversed resulting in a happy, successful life.

So science proves that meaningful touch is essential for every child but it is equally important in marriage. Spouses and parents must never underestimate the Power of Physical Touch.  One of the very best ways to stay connected in marriage and parenting is through skin-to-skin contact. Daily, strive to be a wholesome person, spouse, and/or parent by giving and receiving touch with those you love.

TODAY:  Keep track of how many times along with the various ways you touch your spouse, and if you are a parent, your child. 

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The Daily Essential 10-Minutes

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. A good synonym for love is time.  We can easily determine what we love or value by how we spend our time.

Several months ago at the end of a couple counseling session, I asked both the husband and wife to request one specific need from each other before bedtime.  The wife asked her husband to spend 10-minutes giving their daughter his undivided attention.   Happily, I can report that he willingly concurred with her excellent idea and both dad and daughter enjoyed special time together.

When possible, I absolutely believe that daily we need to spend a minimum of 10 minutes with every significant family member.  Due to divorce, work, etc. I realize that every marriage and family will have different time schedules so that goal may be difficult to achieve on a daily basis.  However, without regular one-on-one time with those closest to us, it will be a struggle to have a meaningful, rewarding relationship.

TODAY:  Schedule 10 minutes of focused attention on each significant family member. 

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DO A Daily Activity With Your Child

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. Like everyone, your child will make mistakes and need discipline but equally important is DOING a regular activity.  Frequently, a child’s disobedience is the result of not enough interaction with their parent.  So DOING a daily or regular activity often will diminish a child’s misbehavior.

DOING an activity with your child increases love and that increases self-respect and that often increases more responsible behavior.  Please evaluate your activity interaction compared to how frequently you find it necessary to discipline your child.

TODAY:  DO an activity with your child:  kick a soccer ball, play a board game, shoot baskets, read a book together, play catch, ride bikes, etc. (March 29, 2017)

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Strive For Obedience NOT Control

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. Almost every loving parent believes that a healthy parenting approach is to "control behavior." Instead, it is better to have the main goal be obedience.  Almighty God, the creator of our universe, could easily control every person's words and behaviors but God desires obedience that leads to Godly decisions.  Hence, similar to God's relationship with us, a healthy parent wants to strive for a child's obedience.

Beginning with the teen years, a child will spend a significant amount of time away from parents and face many temptations and tough decisions that will be made without a parent's input. To lead a child toward obedience, avoid giving orders and commands.  Instead, with important choices provide opportunities for good decisions.  The more significant choices made within the home, the more likely responsible, Godly decisions will be made outside the home.

TODAY:   Adopt a parenting style that provides choices in order to help a child become a healthy, Godly decision-maker.

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Provide Opportunities for Failure

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. The natural instinct for loving parents is to protect their child from pain and failures.  Certainly, success is really enjoyable, while failure is not as much fun and even somewhat painful.  Yet, it is true that your child and all of us learn more from setbacks than successes.

During your child’s formative years, you want your child to have failures and experience some anguish. So many activities throughout their life are competitive in nature, passing classes in school, getting into a trade school, being accepted to a college, or finding the right job.

Hence, allow your child to join sports teams like golf, volleyball, soccer, etc. as well as tryout for other school activities or programs.  Through participating in various pursuits, your child will hopefully experience a few successes along with some beneficial failures that thankfully may help your child become successful in life.  Childhood failures usually assist in building resiliency and strengthening character, and most important, make your child even more determined to never give up in life.

TODAY:  Begin finding a variety of activities where your child can compete in order to experience both successes and failures. 

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Create A Positive Attitude Within Your Child

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. A Positive Attitude is an extremely important quality for everyone to possess, including children.  Daily life will have ups and downs because life is simply not fair.  If we expect life to be fair we may have a negative attitude and be somewhat miserable.

Creating a Positive Attitude within your child is a primary, essential goal.  As a parent, be a positive role model, encourage your child to give a good consistent effort in every area of life, and help your child identify two or three positives from their day.  Regarding the positives, ask your child to identify what happened that created those positives.

TODAY:  And every day, find the positives in your life as well as encourage your child to be optimistic, confident, and a good finder with people and situations. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!